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High Intelligence results in loneliness

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Ruryse, Aug 25, 2016.

  1. softboober

    softboober Active Member


    Ya I can see this happening all the time. I just don't think it can be masked, when both people are practically on the same level. It can be delayed as you wrote, but what works works, you know, Assortative Mating and all. Which is why you have eventually got together, and it's cool. Your experience also hints at both of you being introverts, another thing that's got confirmed on this forum.
  2. ListenNighGlint

    ListenNighGlint Active Member Staff Member

    You're reading way too much into this... :) Besides, being lonely is not the on-off thing happening to average people between relationships... and the 'lonely in a marriage' thing was mentioned in the 1st post:

    It was a generous thing to include these people... too generous. :)
    Ruryse likes this.
  3. Ruryse

    Ruryse Active Member Staff Member

    Yeah, monogamy (meaning a genuinely monogamous nature, including early signs before actual child birth) is very closely related to intelligence and its inheritance. It's because of the "Female Choice" we discussed earlier. Unless a very rare advantageous mutation or a lucky genetic drift occurs, highly heritable traits like general intelligence will depend on what kind of men women choose and mate with, and also on the kind of women who make the choice. In addition, a woman can only give birth so many times, so if she chooses to mate with a man of lower intelligence, she will have used up that much of her "fertility window".

    In the modern age, contraception is an option, so it can mask up polygamous (r-selection strategy) tendencies going by the number of pregnancies alone, but it won't be able to mask the signs, i.e. the willingness to engage in such sexual activities. A woman who is willing to choose multiple men, or men of lower intelligence for sex will be deemed unable to evaluate intelligence related qualities in men. Additionally, she will not be desirable for men of higher intelligence.
  4. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    This is entirely true.

    I was never diagnosed as gifted in my school ( or for learning disability for that matter). I always knew I was smart but never knew exactly how much. I wish I would have figured it out soon, as I could have prevented a lot of pain that came of relationships. I came from an average, ig that family and community in general and never met anyone like me until I was mid twenties. It was so strange at the time and incredible luck.

    I've always wanted friends, hell even family! My family is abusive so I don't even have that. I cut contact with them as well as all friends of the family.

    I already tried for decades thinking over whole conversations in advance in order to prevent misunderstandings. Thing is no one had ever made an attempt to get it. I'm assuming because even though I come at a logical and respectful angle, those topics are still off limits. What can I do when every topic that I hold dear is off limits and no one will attempt to understand so that they can see I'm not being unreasonable or mean? I swear people assume others are being unreasonable because they would rather be right and fulfill an emotional need rather then be a family. It's absurd.

    Friends, family, you name it, all you will get is straw mans arguments, out of context accusations and other mean behaviors. I've long gave up.

    What the point anyway? For a relationship to be meaningful, meaningful exchanges for BOTH parties must take place. The only thing that would be acceptable for me to talk about would be mundane things, much of which I have a disagreement with on moral grounds.

    I now know two people total in real life who understands me, however one is my doctor so that doesn't actually count as a friend. It was my doctor who told me to read books when I felt lonely because in a way that's like having a relationship. Many of the smartest people who ever lived were friendless, and also treated badly, even killed. That must mean I'm on the right track!

    All of this said, I've been a bit on edge lately, with all the being misunderstood and having people be rude to me so if I come off weird that's prolly why.

    In response to the above comments, it'd beyond me why so many people go for good looking men/ women instead of something deeper. I would rather be with an ugly smart person instead of a hot dumb person.
  5. Ruryse

    Ruryse Active Member Staff Member

    So much about the high heritability of IQ. lol I have noticed how it's actually easier to find highly intelligent people who are complete outliers that just happen to be that way, versus people who were born in a family with a long history of gifted members.

    It's impossible to grab someone into the communication range, if they aren't already there. Maybe you can try to lure them in with chocolate, or cat food disguised as chocolate. The latter only works on better days. And they'll never stay there for any amount of time.

    He sure counts, if you could only find so few who understood you.

    Maybe your "good looking man/woman" is someone who's average looking or downright ugly for many others. When it comes to your mate choice, your own taste matters. Assortative Mating seems to be real, and out of all traits, general intelligence gets the highest preference. I actually think that even when we evaluate a face for attractiveness, we really just go for clues that indicate a very similar level of intelligence as well as a similar personality to our own. Finding such a person just happens more frequently to some people than to others. But compromising never seems to work, especially not in the long run.
  6. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    The other very intellegent person I know in real life is an outlier as well. Not sure about the doctor.
  7. Ruryse

    Ruryse Active Member Staff Member

    If he turns out to be a Rothschild, you're screwed.
  8. ListenNighGlint

    ListenNighGlint Active Member Staff Member

    You mean, they abused you physically...? Did anyone know about it in school or elsewhere?

    Hmm, I have read a couple of books but never noticed it... :eek: I remember someone claiming the same thing about TV... Is he a psychiatrist?
    softboober likes this.
  9. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    Not a rothschild, thank god!
  10. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    It was cluster b abuse. I tried telling everyone from psychiatrists to the police but no one believed me. Even as an adult I spoke out about it, but again not a soul in my family or from my old life save one believed me. Cluster b abuse is some of the worst abuse possible. The parent or other family member manipulates people, telling false stories about the child. Brainwashing, gaslightimg, alienation, verbal abuse, physical and mental abuse by proxy, public humiliation and more is used against the kid. Frightening rages over nothing. It was a very traumatic experience. It happens a lot more then people realize. The physical abuse happened after I was out I'd school.
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2017
    softboober likes this.
  11. softboober

    softboober Active Member

    I remember @Ruryse having a thought on this: that it's the default way to get people with above average intelligence. Most of the time these people don't inherit the traits, they just get created out of the 'noise' or 'error' of the system. And thus, they will probably remain lonely.
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  12. softboober

    softboober Active Member

    It was Satoshi Kanazawa having this theory on people sub-consciously not being able to differentiate between real humans and people on the TV screen, because technology like it wasn't available in the old ages, and the changes happen too fast for people to be able to adapt. So they'll see TV people as friends. And women in porn as girlfriends. Um, something like that. :oops: You can read the full article on this hypothesis here.
    ListenNighGlint and Hailey like this.
  13. softboober

    softboober Active Member

    Ha, I realize this stems from this post of the 'Against Libertarianism' thread:

    Not sure whether you knew, but Ashkenazi Jews on average are considered to be people with the highest IQ:

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  14. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    Ashkenazis have a high verbal iq especially I hear, which would make them good at getting them voted into positions and succeeding in life in general. So much of life is made easier by charisma and people skills.

    There was one Ashkenazi jew, by blood that I truly admire who was adam weishaupt, founder of the bavarian illuminati. He tought people to really think!

    Jews have an unporportionate number in positions of power and always have. Maybe were it not for Judaism, they could use it to a better cause.

    I think rothschild may be Jewish too.
  15. Ruryse

    Ruryse Active Member Staff Member

    It was a hypothesis though, and it's probably an exaggeration.

    Maybe he was genetically Jewish, maybe he wasn't. Certainly not by religion.

    Not in China or India, among other places.

    It's been found that higher intelligence correlates with more atheistic views. At that point, Ashkenazim – also called German Jews – becomes a (sort of loose and hard to define) genetic group, versus a strictly religious one. Yiddish, their traditional language, is an old German language, by the way.

    Still, naming wealthy Jewish families as some typical elite being in control over masses of people doesn't mean much. Whenever something like that happens, it means the leaders (people in the top quarter of the average or high average intelligence range) and the masses (the rest of the average intelligence group) are within the communication range, so they understand each other. People like that rarely get lonely.
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  16. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    They don't have to be at the top to make a huge influence based on their religious system. The amount of intellegence that it takes to become something like a judge, police officer, or in the military is pretty low. How many lives could be destroyed by that? The ones at the top may be athiests, and even that will never be enough to make an acceptable world.
  17. ListenNighGlint

    ListenNighGlint Active Member Staff Member

    There are 4 Cluster B personality disorders, which one was it...?

    Committed by your family members again?
  18. ListenNighGlint

    ListenNighGlint Active Member Staff Member

    Welcome to the real world... :)
  19. Hailey

    Hailey Member

    I thought that was in the other thread. I went way off topic. I sometimes have a one track mind and when that happens I miss all the details, like skim reading. Usually it doesn't matter in the real world anyway so it's a habit. Honestly I think I'm having a nervous breakdown right now and I'm feeling a bit irrational.

    To answer the other question. My mom was a borderline. She was the main one. Some of my other family members also have similar issues. The other people became unknowing enablers for the whole situation.
    Ruryse likes this.
  20. Ruryse

    Ruryse Active Member Staff Member

    It's all the real world.

    Have you been diagnosed with personality disorders as well?

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